Attachment styles worksheet

This attachment style worksheet is for therapists who want to explain attachment theory to clients and its potential impact on their relationships.

In this article, you’ll find a summary of the different types of attachment styles, tips for creating secure attachment, and examples of different worksheets to help clients identify their attachment styles.

We’ve also included a free downloadable attachment styles worksheet—including an anxious attachment worksheet—that you can save to your electronic health record (EHR) for future use with clients.

What are attachment styles?

Attachment styles describe how childhood experiences impact the quality of adult relationships. 

Psychoanalyst and psychiatrist John Bowlby developed attachment theory in the 1950s, and psychologist Mary Ainsworth later expanded upon the theory. 

Attachment styles in romantic relationships also became popularized in the mainstream by the research of Amir Levine, a psychiatrist and neuroscientist at Columbia University, who partnered with psychologist Rachel Heller in 2010 to write the book“Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it Can Help You Find–and Keep–Love.”

Attachment theory helps us understand the type, security, and accessibility of the emotional bond between a child and their parents’ or primary caregiver's ability to provide emotional regulation. 

For example, a young child's survival instinct is to maintain close proximity with their caregiver, and they may seek out the parent to be comforted during times of distress. 

Attachment theory defines how the quality and accessibility of the parents impacts a child’s sense of safety, security, psychological development, and health. 

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Attachment theory defines four different styles of attachment to describe the quality of these emotional bonds:

Insecure or anxious attachment 

This type of attachment style is developed from an inconsistent caregiver who was sometimes available but other times unresponsive. 

The child’s perceived inability to face challenges alone results in a desire for closeness and intimacy despite inconsistent attachment figures. 

In adulthood, an anxious-attached person may appear clingy or seek reassurance and validation from others. 

An anxious attachment worksheet can help clients identify these behaviors and reflect on their relationships.

Secure attachment 

A child who developed a secure attachment had consistent access to a responsive and emotionally available parent. 

As an adult, a secure-attached person has confidence in the accessibility and emotional availability of attachment figures, like partners, who are a source of comfort and attunement during times of stress.

Avoidant attachment 

A child with an avoidant caregiver may experience parents who rejected them or who were emotionally unavailable. 

In adulthood, avoidant-attached people emphasize independence due to a lack of trust in others to avoid rejection and difficult emotions.  

Disorganized attachment 

Characterized by a childhood of abuse, neglect, and trauma, disorganized-attached parents are usually feared by children but may also provide occasional comfort, confusing the child. 

Consequently, a disorganized attachment style in an adult may look like a deep fear of rejection, contradictory behaviors, distrust of others, and difficulty regulating emotions. 

Those with a disorganized attachment style may also show avoidant and insecure attachment styles.

Types of attachment styles worksheets

There are a variety of attachment worksheets for adults that therapists can use in their practice. 

Attachment styles worksheets may focus on a specific style of attachment, such as an anxious attachment worksheet, and ways to create secure attachment bonds within the client and their relationships.

Examples of different attachment styles worksheets include:

• Attachment therapy worksheets: Therapists may use an attachment quiz within a couples therapy session to help clients identify their attachment styles and how they manifest in their relationships.
• Creating a secure attachment worksheet: Clients may find it helpful to explore different ways to strengthen their attachment bonds with their partners and themselves to develop a healthier relationship with fewer unresolved conflicts.
• Couples therapy exercises worksheet: After identifying their attachment style, couples may realize they need to strengthen their conflict resolution skills by using fair fighting rules or improve their communication by developing assertive communication skills.

At the top of this article, therapists can download a free attachment styles worksheet to share with clients. This attachment styles worksheet includes an overview of the different types, questions to help clients identify their attachment style, and tips for secure attachment.

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Tips for creating secure attachment

After identifying their attachment style in the attachment styles worksheet, clients can work on developing secure attachments in their relationships. 

Here are a few tips to suggest to clients: 

Develop emotional awareness 

Clients may find it helpful to strengthen their interoceptive skills by using an emotions chart or a thought log to identify their emotions and make connections between how their emotions impact their behavior in relationships. 

For example, a client’s partner may not answer their text immediately, leading to frustration, rejection, and insecurity. 

The client may be tempted to act on those feelings and keep calling and texting their partner. By identifying their emotions and journaling, they may recognize this is an old coping mechanism based on their childhood experiences. 

They may then pause and practice an emotional regulation or distress tolerance skill instead.

Strengthen communication skills 

Therapy and anxious attachment worksheets can help clients become better communicators by encouraging dialogue about how past experiences may influence their behavior. 

For example, a client may feel they do the bulk of the household chores, but don’t want to bring it up with their partner because they are frightened it will result in a conflict. 

By practicing assertive communication, the client can share their feelings and ask for their needs to be met by their partner instead of fearing and acting on rejection.

Develop healthy boundaries 

A healthy relationship allows space for independent pursuits while maintaining intimacy. 

Using boundary exploration worksheets or attachment style worksheets may help an insecure-attached client understand that their partner should have their own time without fear of conflict or increased need for closeness. 

Sources

• Antonucci, T. C., Akiyama, H., & Takahashi, K. (2004). Attachment and close relationships across the life span. Attachment & human development.
• Columbia University Department of Psychiatry. (2022, February 9). How attachment styles influence romantic relationships. 
• Reisz, S., Duschinsky, R., & Siegel, D. J. (2017). Disorganized attachment and defense: exploring John Bowlby’s unpublished reflections. Attachment & Human Development. 
• Sagone, E., Commodari, E., Indiana, M. L., & La Rosa, V. L. (2023). Exploring the Association between Attachment Style, Psychological Well-Being, and Relationship Status in Young Adults and Adults-A Cross-Sectional Study. European Journal of Investigation in Health.
• Smith-Etxeberria, K., Corres-Medrano, I., & Fernandez-Villanueva, I. (2022). Parental Divorce Process and Post-Divorce Parental Behaviors and Strategies: Examining Emerging Adult Children’s Attachment-Related Anxiety and Avoidance. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health.

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