Healthy vs. unhealthy coping skills worksheets
Cognitive distortions can keep clients stuck in a pattern of unhelpful thinking and behavior.
This article provides an overview of blaming thought errors and offers tips on how to stop blaming others, which can be used with clients.
We’ve included a free downloadable cognitive distortions blaming worksheet that you can save to your electronic health record (EHR) and share with clients in your practice.
What are cognitive distortions?
Cognitive distortions are a type of negative thought that alters a person’s perception and interpretation of situations. Thought distortions may occur to anyone from time to time. However, when these distortions are repeated, they become maladaptive and may exacerbate symptoms of anxiety and depression, and lead to unhelpful emotional and behavioral responses.
Common thought distortions include:
Mind reading: This distortion assumes what others are thinking.
Catastrophizing: Despite facts to the contrary or assurances from others, this type of distortion involves dreading the worst possible outcome of a situation.
Emotional reasoning: The belief that feeling a certain way automatically means the thoughts associated with that feeling are true.
Personalization: Taking things personally, even if they are not remotely connected to the person. For example, taking the blame for a situation that is outside of your control.
Blaming: Also known as externalizing, this distortion involves irrationally placing responsibility on others or external factors without considering all the facts. It often includes playing the victim, refusing to take personal accountability, or projecting unaddressed feelings onto others. See below for examples.
While thought errors can manifest in many forms, using a cognitive distortions blaming worksheet helps clinicians specifically target externalizing behaviors and guide clients toward personal accountability.
Blaming examples
According to research, blaming is associated with the inability to regulate emotions and is related to feelings of anger, resentment, and guilt. Research also suggests that individuals with depression, or who are experiencing negative emotions, are more likely to engage in blaming others. This is an avoidance strategy that enables individuals to evade addressing their core issues or accepting responsibility for their actions.
Some examples of blaming include:
Accusing a partner of infidelity to deflect from one's own unfaithfulness
Attributing a missed workplace promotion entirely to unsupportive coworkers or management rather than a lack of required qualifications
Claiming one was late to a meeting because a friend ran late for lunch, ignoring personal time-management choices
Blaming a partner for ongoing unhappiness in a relationship instead of taking steps to communicate directly or assert needs
Asserting that a car accident happened because of an argument with a spouse earlier in the day
Blaming heavy traffic for being late to an appointment instead of planning ahead and leaving earlier
Attributing an explosive angry outburst to a family member "pushing buttons" rather than poor emotional regulation
Blaming an entire team's failed project outcome on a single colleague while ignoring one's own missed deadlines
How to stop blaming others
Clinicians can guide clients to address blaming thoughts using a structured 5-step cognitive behavioral process:
Identify the blaming thought: Encourage the client to notice when they are focusing solely on someone else's behavior while ignoring their own role in a situation.
Examine the evidence: Help the client evaluate facts for and against their blaming thought, distinguishing between factors within and outside their control.
Explore alternative explanations: Prompt the client to consider other contributing factors or underlying emotions (such as anxiety or feeling overwhelmed) driving the urge to externalize fault.
Promote accountability: Guide the client to identify actionable steps they can take to address the elements of the situation within their control.
Reframe the perspective: Assist the client in developing a more balanced, realistic thought to replace the externalizing distortion.
How to use the cognitive distortions blaming worksheet
You can download and use the blaming worksheet for adults in several ways:
Use this cognitive distortions blaming worksheet as an interactive prompt during sessions to deliver targeted psychoeducation on externalizing thought patterns.
Give the client a copy of the worksheet to take home.
Ask the client to reflect on the worksheet, complete the reflection questions between sessions, and report their findings at their next therapy appointment.
Use the how to stop blaming others tips in group therapy sessions to encourage clients to participate.
Combine this worksheet with other cognitive behavioral therapy-related worksheets, including our CBT triangle worksheet, cognitive distortions worksheet, CBT for anxiety worksheet, CBT thought record, 10 cognitive distortions and how to help clients work with them, and CBT for PTSD.
Share the worksheet with coworkers.
Use this worksheet to provide training to interns or supervisees on cognitive-behavioral therapy and common cognitive distortions.
Sources
Grinspoon, P. (2022). How to recognize and tame your cognitive distortions. Harvard Health Publishing.
Kaufmann, M., Quirin, M., & Baumann, N. (2022). Blaming others: Individual differences in self-projection. Personality and Individual Differences.
Koolen, S., Poorthuis, A., & van Aken, M. A. (2012). Cognitive Distortions and Self-Regulatory Personality Traits Associated with Proactive and Reactive Aggression in Early Adolescence. Cognitive Therapy and Research.
Sokol, L., Fox, M., G. (2019). The comprehensive clinician's guide to cognitive behavioral therapy. PESI Publishing.
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