Conflict resolution worksheets
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This guide to conflict resolution worksheets provides mental health therapists with a brief overview of conflict management worksheets and their benefits in therapy.
It also includes suggestions for using couples conflict resolution worksheets in your therapy practice and a free printable conflict resolution worksheet for adults PDF that you can save to your electronic health record (EHR) for repeated use with clients.
What is conflict resolution?
Conflict resolution is a tactic or strategy for resolving conflict within relationships. As therapists, our role is to guide individuals, couples, and families through their conflicts from rupture to repair.
The goal of therapy isn’t the absence of conflict, as it is a normal part of relationships. Rather, the goal of therapy is to empower clients to develop their conflict resolution skills to recover from fights and disagreements.
Key conflict resolution skills that are included in the conflict resolution worksheets are:
THINK skill
The THINK skill is a DBT conflict resolution skill that promotes compassion when dealing with conflict.
THINK stands for:
- Think about the situation from the other person's perspective.
- Have empathy about what the other person might be thinking or feeling.
- Interpret: Rather than assuming negative intent, consider all the alternative interpretations about the situation or person’s behavior.
- Notice how the other person might have been already trying to resolve the conflict, or ways that they show they care. You may also notice the challenges or stressors they have been facing, which may have had an impact on the conflict.
- Kindness: Use compassion in your interaction and treat others with kindness.
Fair fighting rules
As a conflict resolution skill for couples, fair fighting rules provide guidelines for couples to navigate conflict.
These conflict guidelines, which are also listed in the conflict resolution worksheets, include:
- Respect one another by listening, talking calmly, and refraining from raising your voice.
- Be clear about the root cause of your hurt feelings, using assertive communication strategies, like “I” statements, which focus on your perspective rather than making assumptions about the other person.
- Describe your feelings clearly.
- Be patient, listening to the other person’s perspective without interrupting them.
- Allow each person to share their point of view and keep the conversation focused on the specific issue rather than bringing in other difficulties.
- Collaboratively solve the conflict. These outcomes might involve a compromise, accommodating the other person’s request, acknowledgment of fault, apology, and acceptance.
- Avoid blaming and be prepared to take responsibility and apologize.
- Take a timeout when necessary, always returning to the conversation within 30 minutes to 24 hours.
DEAR MAN skill
The DEAR MAN skill is another DBT interpersonal skill included in the couples conflict resolution worksheet that is used to assert your needs, achieve desired outcomes, and get clarity on a situation.
The DEAR MAN acronym stands for:
- Describe: Objectively describe a situation by sticking to the facts and avoiding assumptions and subjective information.
- Express: Sharing your feelings about a situation.
- Assert: Use assertive communication strategies and describe what you are asking for or saying no to as clearly and directly as possible, while respecting the other person.
- Reinforce: Ensure the other person knows the benefits or consequences of agreeing to or declining your request.
- Mindful: Be mindful of your tone of voice, posture, and body language while staying focused on the conversation's objective—even if the other person becomes unreasonable, threatening, distracting, avoidant, or defensive.
- Appear: Project confidence, assertiveness, and competence using a direct and neutral tone, maintaining eye contact, and an assertive posture. Avoid looking away, retreating, crossing your arms, stammering, or silencing yourself.
- Negotiate: Stay open to communication about your request or negotiation. Be willing to compromise or acknowledge the other person’s perspective—unless you feel uncomfortable compromising on something like a value or personal boundary.
These skills are included in the couples conflict resolution worksheet that can be downloaded at the top of this article.
Benefits of using conflict resolution worksheets with clients
Conflict resolution worksheets can be helpful in therapy for several reasons:
- Improve client communication skills and interpersonal effectiveness
- Increase relationship satisfaction
- Decrease family challenges among children
- Enhance capacity to navigate relational challenges
- To normalize conflict in relationships
How to use the conflict resolution worksheets
Therapists can use the conflict resolution worksheets as handouts to describe ways to handle conflict in relationships.
In addition, the couples conflict resolution worksheet can provide psychoeducation on different ways to overcome conflict and maintain a relationship.
Sources
- Feuerman, M. (2017). Managing vs. Resolving Conflict in Relationships: The Blueprints for Success. The Gottman Institute.
- Koonce D. (2019). Reducing Conflicts with the THINK Skill. Mindsoother Therapy Center.
- Miga, E. M., Gdula, J. A., & Allen, J. P. (2012). Fighting fair: Adaptive Marital Conflict Strategies as Predictors of Future Adolescent Peer and Romantic Relationship Quality.
- National University. (n.d.). Seven conflict resolution tips for couples.
- Schiefer, M. (2024). Using the THINK Skill. Center for Behavioral Medicine.
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