Cycle of Abuse Wheel

This article provides an overview of the cycle of abuse wheel, the different types of abuse, and ways to help clients dealing with abusive relationships. We also include a free downloadable cycle of abuse wheel PDF that you can share with clients and save to your electronic health record (EHR) for future use.

As a mental health therapist, your role may involve helping clients understand abusive patterns, like a narcissistic cycle of abuse, and how to implement healthy boundaries to improve their mental health. 

Sharing the cycle of abuse wheel handout, with clients who are experiencing abuse, can help them better understand the nature of their relationships.

What is the cycle of abuse?

The term “cycle of abuse” describes a pattern of abusive behavior. 

Many clinicians who work with people who’ve experienced abuse use a cycle of abuse wheel to illustrate the different stages of abuse. 

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The 4 stages of abuse

In her book, “The Battered Woman,” psychologist Lenore E. Walker, Ed.D, developed and documented the concept of the cycle of abuse in the late 1970s. While Walker initially used the wheel to describe four stages of domestic abuse, professionals often use the wheel to describe emotional abuse treatment in different types of relationships. 

1. Tension

This stage describes the building of tension due to stressors or other conflicts. The abusive person may be aggressive, impatient, or reactive. The person experiencing abuse may feel like they are “walking on eggshells” to prevent the situation from getting worse. 

2. Incident

This relates to the tension building to a point where the abusive person acts out with verbal, emotional, or physical abuse/violence. They may also make threats, attempt to exert control, and try to manipulate the other person.

3. Reconciliation 

After the incident, the abusive person attempts to reconcile through apology, showing remorse, or by using kindness, affection, and loving behavior to win back the person they’re abusing. This is also called the “honeymoon phase.”

4. Calm 

After reconciliation occurs, a period of harmony may follow, but this often masks the reality of the situation or minimizes the abuse.   

As with most patterns, the cycle of abuse wheel demonstrates that the abuse is cyclical and will likely repeat itself throughout the course of the relationship. While the time period between incidents may vary, abusive patterns tend to escalate, even if the person experiencing abuse is in denial about the extent of harm being caused.  

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Types of abuse

Educating clients about the different types of abuse may help them recognize abusive situations or dynamics in their own lives and gain a greater understanding of abusive patterns. 

The different types of abuse include:

Emotional abuse

This may include harassment, bullying, intimidation, ridicule, shouting, giving the “cold shoulder,” coercion, using technology to monitor or control, isolating a person from their friends and family, and treating the survivor like a child.

Physical abuse 

Physical abuse involves causing some kind of physical pain or injury, including sexual violence.

Stalking 

This includes closely watching or monitoring an individual online or in person, which may escalate to other types of abuse.

Verbal abuse 

This overlaps with emotional abuse. It can include saying things to intentionally hurt or ridicule another person. This includes blaming, judging, gaslighting, using slurs, and name-calling, which can ultimately impact a person’s self-esteem.

Neglect

Neglect includes not taking care of basic needs of minors and vulnerable adults.

Financial abuse 

This is also part of emotional abuse, but relates specifically to using financial control to manipulate and abuse a partner.

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How to help clients dealing with abusive patterns

Clinicians can use the cycle of abuse wheel to help clients in several ways:

• To develop insight that they are a survivor of abuse
• Highlight different types of abuse, as oftentimes, a client may minimize non-physical types of abuse
• Support the client in building healthy boundaries
• Help a client leave an abusive relationship
• Provide access to resources
• Process the trauma of abuse
• Help the client to rebuild their self-esteem, sense of safety, and confidence 

Ways to use the cycle of abuse wheel PDF

If your client has told you anecdotes revealing common signs of abuse, such as talking about controlling behavior, feeling unsafe, receiving threats and harassment, or displaying signs of physical violence, then it’s important to provide them information about the different stages of abuse. One way to accomplish this is by using the cycle of abuse PDF.  

Here are some ways the cycle of abuse wheel PDF can be helpful: 

• To provide psychoeducation about the different stages of abuse
• As a reference point for the client to discuss relational experiences that may or may not reflect stages of the cycle of abuse wheel
• To highlight the cyclical nature of abuse
• To refer your client to additional abuse-related resources

Additional resources for clients

Depending on a client’s situation, they may benefit from additional resources or services.

Resources you may want to share with clients include:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: The website includes ways to identify abuse, plan for safety, get help, and support others. You can chat live, visit the website, or call 1-800-799-7233.
• WomensLaw.org: State-based legal information regarding restraining orders and child custody information.
• The National Defense Center for Criminalized Survivors: Resources for survivors of gender-based violence.
• The Immigrant Legal Resource Center: Information and protections for non-U.S. citizens.
• Human Rights Campaign: Resources for intimate partner violence in the LGBTQIA+ community.
• Trans Lifeline: Peer-run crisis support and resources for trans people.

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