Domestic abuse worksheets

Domestic abuse worksheets can be useful tools to support therapy clients through domestic abuse or intimate partner violence.

This guide to domestic violence worksheets provides therapists with a summary of different types of abuse, tips to identify various kinds of mistreatment, and a list of support resources. 

Therapists can also download a free domestic abuse worksheet to save to their electronic health record (EHR) and provide to clients.

What is abuse?

Intimate partner abuse involves a pattern of behaviors involving power and control that causes harm to another person. 

There are several types of domestic abuse, including:

Physical abuse 

This type of abuse involves causing some kind of physical pain or injury, including sexual violence, and it may include hitting, slapping, choking, pushing, or other types of physical harm.

Emotional and verbal abuse 

Non-physical types of abuse include bullying, manipulation, intimidation, humiliation, socially isolating the person, treating the person like a child, ridiculing, shouting, name-calling, blaming, using slurs, giving the “cold shoulder,” coercion, gaslighting, and constant criticism.

Stalking and harassment 

This involves repeated and unwanted contact that involves closely watching or monitoring an individual online and in person, which may escalate to other types of abuse.

Financial abuse 

This type of abuse is also part of emotional abuse, but relates specifically to using financial control to manipulate and abuse a partner.

Digital abuse

Digital abuse is the use of technology to harass, bully, stalk, intimidate, gaslight, monitor, or control a partner. 

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Identifying forms of mistreatment

Supporting clients who you think may be experiencing domestic abuse can be challenging. 

They may find it difficult to acknowledge these warning signs of mistreatment or to comprehend the severity of intimate partner violence in their lives. 

Part of all change, however, begins with awareness. 

As a therapist, you can highlight both warning signs of abuse and provide psychoeducation on the cycle of abuse through the use of domestic abuse worksheets to increase clients’ understanding.

Signs of domestic or intimate partner violence may look like: 

• Unexplained injuries or bruises
• Social isolation
• Fear of upsetting their partner
• Sudden changes in personality, confidence, or self-esteem
• The feeling of being monitored through social media and online
• Repeated phone calls and text messages to check their location and what they’re doing
• Increased suspicion about what they do away from home
• Feeling threatened
• Having their financial resources controlled prevents them from leaving
• Making excuses for their partner or explaining away visible signs of abuse
• Clients may stop talking to certain people to avoid upsetting their partner

When talking to clients about the signs of abuse, it’s important to highlight that abuse is rarely a one-off event. 

Intimate partner violence is usually repeated, cyclical, and may escalate even if there are periods of no abuse. 

The cycle of abuse

The cycle of abuse (also explained in the domestic violence worksheets) describes four stages of intimate partner violence:

1. Tension

Stress builds, and the abuser may be aggressive, impatient, or reactive, while the survivor tries to avoid conflict and may feel like they are “walking on eggshells” to avoid the situation worsening. 

2. Incident 

The abuser acts out with verbal, emotional, or physical abuse/violence using threats in an attempt to exert control and manipulate the other person.

3. Reconciliation

After the incident, the abuser apologizes and shows remorse, kindness, affection, and loving behavior to win their partner back. This stage is also called the “honeymoon phase.”

4. Calm

A temporary period after reconciliation occurs, which may feel peaceful, but this harmony masks the reality of the situation. It also minimizes both the harm done and the likelihood of repeated abuse.

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How to use the domestic abuse worksheet

Therapists can download and use the domestic violence worksheets in several ways.

In session with clients, you can use the handout as an identifying forms of mistreatment worksheet to prompt further insights into their relationships.

The domestic violence worksheets can also provide psychoeducation on the types of abuse, signs, and the cyclical nature of intimate partner violence.

Additionally, you can use the domestic abuse worksheet to highlight abuse-related resources while emphasizing safety precautions.

Additional resources for clients

Other resources you can send to clients include: 

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: Highlights signs of abuse, how to create a safety plan, get help, and support others. You can chat live, visit the website, or call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
• WomensLaw.org: Local state-based legal information regarding restraining orders and child custody information.
• The Immigrant Legal Resource Center: Information and protections for non-U.S. citizens.
• National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center: A Native-led non-profit organization offering domestic violence training, technical assistance, and additional resources for Native women, children, and communities.
• Human Rights Campaign: Resources for intimate partner violence in the LGBTQ+ community.

Many of these websites have safety features, including a quick exit button.

The list of resources above can also be found in the printable domestic abuse worksheets.

Sources

• Domestic Violence Hotline. (n.d.). Forms of abuse. 
• Gonzalez, D., Bethencourt Mirabal, A., & McCall, J. D. (2023). Child abuse and neglect. StatPearls Publishing. 
• Huecker MR, King KC, Jordan GA, et al. (2023). Domestic Violence. StatPearls Publishing. 
• National Domestic Violence Hotline. (n.d.). Types of abuse. 

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