Wellness assessment
Whether you’re a couples therapist or you work with individuals, supporting clients in strengthening their communication skills through the use of a reflective listening worksheet can benefit all clients.
This article provides an overview of reflective listening, sample reflective listening activities, and examples of how to use our reflective listening worksheet with clients.
We’ve also included a free downloadable reflective listening worksheet PDF to save to your electronic health record (EHR) and use in your practice.
What is reflective listening?
Reflective listening is a communication technique in which the listener actively seeks to understand and confirm the other person’s perspective.
Similar to active listening, where you reflect on what the person said, reflective listening also involves relaying, restating, summarizing, paraphrasing, or mirroring back to the other person what they said and their feelings.
The goal of using reflective listening worksheets is to confirm and validate the other person’s thoughts and feelings.
What are the benefits of reflective listening?
Reflective listening is an important communication skill that can be used in any relationship—friendships, familial relationships, or romantic partnerships.
Some of the benefits of using reflective listening worksheets include:
Helping each person feel heard and understood
Encouraging open and honest communication
Preventing misunderstandings
Deepening understanding of one another’s perspective, feelings, and boundaries
Avoids jumping to conclusions or making assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling
Strengthening the trust and connection in the relationship
Reflective listening examples
Reflective listening worksheets include statements that involve restating or rephrasing the content of their words and any feelings or emotions they have expressed.
When restating or paraphrasing, you may use statements such as the following reflective listening examples:
“You’re saying that…”
“I hear you saying…”
“Your perspective is…”
“It sounds like…”
“So, you feel…”
“You seem…”
“You feel… when…”
“You’re telling me that…”
“It sounds like what is most important to you is…”
“My understanding of what you are saying is that…”
We’ve included a few examples of reflective listening in different contexts below and in the reflective listening worksheet PDF:
Workplace example
Speaker: “I am really overwhelmed with work at the moment. It feels like I cannot get enough done in the day, and my boss is constantly breathing down my neck.”
Listener: “It sounds like work is overwhelming for you and you’re battling to get everything done with your boss pressuring you to work harder.”
Relationship example
Speaker: “I feel like you don’t listen to me when I’m talking about my feelings.”
Listener: “I hear you saying that you feel unheard and that your feelings aren’t being acknowledged.”
Parenting example
Speaker: “I don’t want to go to school today. I hate math class!”
Parent: “It sounds like you’re really frustrated with math and not looking forward to class.”
You might find it helpful to ask follow-up or clarification questions, such as:
“Did I hear that correctly?”
“Is there anything you would like to add?”
“How can I be helpful to you in this situation?”
“Can you tell me/say more about…?”
“I see some potential solutions. Would you like to solve the problem together?”
“How would you like me to adjust…?”
Reflective listening activities for clients
Some tips to practice reflective listening exercises, also found in the reflective listening worksheet PDF, include:
Listen without interrupting
Practice giving non-verbal cues that you are paying attention, like nodding your head
Pay attention to what the person is saying with an emphasis on seeking to understand their perspective
Ensure the other person has finished talking before responding
Listen for both feelings and thought content
Validate emotions without offering an immediate response or solutions
Paraphrase and repeat back
Be open to problem-solving and collaboration
Work on being grounded and not reacting to what the other person is saying
Ask clarifying questions and encourage further conversation
Promote goodwill by promoting nonjudgment, avoiding jumping to conclusions, and not assuming the person has negative intentions.
Adopt a posture of compassion, empathy, and fostering connection
How to use the reflective listening worksheet
You can download and use the reflective listening worksheet PDF in several ways.
For example, print or screen share the reflective listening worksheet and use it as a session psychoeducational prompt.
Therapists can also give the reflective listening worksheet to couples so that they can practice the reflective listening exercises at home and then report their progress at their next therapy appointment.
Or, you can provide the client with the reflective listening worksheet PDF as a handout to remind them of what you discussed during therapy.
Sources
Boston University. (n.d.). Active listening.
Gallo, A. (2024). What is active listening? Harvard Business Review.
University of Connecticut. (2023). Active and reflective listening handout.
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