Abandonment worksheets PDF
Setting boundaries with parents can be particularly challenging for clients, especially if they grew up in a dysfunctional home. This article provides an overview of boundaries, signs clients may need to set stronger boundaries, and tips for setting boundaries with family that you can suggest to clients.
Our free setting boundaries with parents worksheet walks clients through the process, and you can save the downloadable setting boundaries with family PDF to your electronic health record (EHR) to use in your practice.
What are boundaries?
Boundaries are the limits people set with themselves and others. They reflect values, guide behavior, and help people feel safe and secure in their relationships. There are several types of boundaries, including:
Physical boundaries: Protect a person’s physical body, space, and physical needs. Physical boundaries dictate whether (and how) someone wants to be touched, their privacy, and when they need to rest, sleep, and eat. Physical boundaries can also indicate how someone wants people to behave in their home.
Emotional boundaries: What someone feels comfortable discussing about themselves or taking on from others, and the right to share their thoughts and feelings.
Sexual boundaries: Determine consent, what a person feels comfortable engaging in sexually, with whom, safety, desires, what to avoid, their right to a sexual health history, and relationship intentions and expectations.
Intellectual boundaries: Protect a person’s thoughts and ideas while respecting others’ ideas and what they feel comfortable discussing. For example, an intellectual boundary might involve refraining from discussing political issues with family members known to have opposing views that the person finds upsetting.
Time boundaries: The use and respect of a person’s time in a way that doesn’t compromise their needs and other responsibilities.
Material boundaries: These may include protecting a person’s material and financial resources and the right to use those resources as they choose. Material boundaries also refer to other people’s use of their property.
Social or cultural boundaries: The customs, rules, and practices within particular social, cultural, and other identity groups. For example, an LGBTQ client may not feel safe expressing affection with a partner around family members who disapprove of the relationship.
What are the signs of poor boundaries with parents or family?
Signs that clients may have poor boundaries with family include:
They overextend themselves or compromise their needs to please others.
They fear that setting boundaries will make them seem mean or rude.
They don’t know how to set a boundary.
They feel like their parents or family members don’t respect their opinion or time.
They’ve had bad experiences setting boundaries, such as a parent who reads their boundary as a demand or stops talking to them when they enforce their boundaries.
Their parents never modeled healthy boundaries, so they tend to overshare or allow others to manipulate them.
Instead of setting boundaries, they feel resentful or angry when they do too much for others.
They feel frustrated when they try to set a boundary, and people ignore it.
They cut people off to avoid setting boundaries.
Their parents expect them to say yes to every request they make.
What types of boundaries can clients set with parents?
Licensed therapist and relationship expert Nedra Glover Tawwab says that people become adults when they can create healthy boundaries with their parents. She suggests there are several types of boundaries clients can set with parents, including:
Being able to freely and openly express their feelings and opinions
Not allowing parents to show up unannounced
Prioritizing their commitments when making plans
Asking parents to follow house rules, like taking off their shoes when entering the client’s home
Introducing a romantic partner when the client feels ready, rather than when parents want to meet them
Setting limits on specific topics, such as not discussing their dating life or anything else that makes them uncomfortable
Establishing boundaries around the holidays, such as choosing to stay close by in a hotel rather than in the family home
We’ve included these types of boundaries and tips to enforce them in our downloadable setting boundaries with family PDF.
Safety note: Before assigning the setting boundaries with parents worksheet, screen for abuse or coercive control. Tawwab notes that some family relationships are physically or verbally unsafe, so clients in those situations may need safety planning before they set or enforce boundaries.
How do you use the setting boundaries with parents worksheet?
You can download and use the family boundaries worksheet in several ways:
Provide psychoeducation about boundaries using our healthy parent-child boundaries worksheet.
Complete the worksheet collaboratively in session and give the client a copy to take home.
Ask the client to reflect on the worksheet, complete the reflection questions between sessions, and report their findings at their next therapy appointment.
Use the setting boundaries with family worksheet in group therapy sessions to encourage clients to share more about how they navigate boundaries with parents and family members.
Combine this worksheet with other relational worksheets, such as our 10 green flags in a relationship, conflict resolution worksheets, assertive communication examples, and “I statements” worksheet.
Share the setting boundaries with family PDF with coworkers or leave copies in your office.
Use the setting boundaries with parents worksheet to provide training to interns or supervisees on family boundaries.
Sources
Kohli, S. K. (2023). How to set boundaries when you’ve never been taught how. Greater Good Science Center.
Tawwab, N. G. (n.d.). You become an adult when… Nedra Tawwab.
Tawwab, N. G. (2021). Set boundaries, find peace: A guide to reclaiming yourself. TarcherPerigee.
Tawwab, N. G. (2023). Drama free: A guide to managing unhealthy family relationships. TarcherPerigee.
TED. (2023). How to set boundaries and find peace (w/ Nedra Glover Tawwab). How to Be a Better Human.
UC Davis Health. (2024). How to set boundaries and why it matters for your mental health.
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