‘Should’ Statements Worksheet
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Looking for a “should” statements worksheet? You’re in the right place.
Therapists who use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) in their practice can use this should statements worksheet to help clients identify and reframe thought distortions.
This article includes a list of common thought distortions, should statement examples, and a free downloadable should statements CBT worksheet that you can save to your electronic health record (EHR) to share with clients.
What are ‘should’ statements?
Should statements are one of several types of thought distortions that are referred to in cognitive behavioral therapy.
Within the CBT model, thought distortions are types of negative thoughts that skew one’s perception of reality. These thought errors add a negative bias to the interpretation of events.
When they occur on an ongoing basis, these thoughts may contribute to anxiety, depression, dysphoria, and other emotional and behavioral reactions.
For instance, let’s say Dave is a client with depression. He works though a CBT should statements worksheet with his therapist, which reveals that he believes he is a failure, no one cares about him, and the future is hopeless.
As a result, he believes he should stop engaging in life or not bother returning friends' calls. Or, conversely, he may be depressed because he is putting unreasonable demands on himself that he’s unable to meet, compounding his sense of failure.
Should statements are not specific to depression. They are a thought distortion that affects most people at some point in their lives.
They are often rooted in family of origin narratives, particularly around the idea that things “should be done” or achieved in a certain way. However, should statements are typically unrealistic and lead to high expectations.
In a client with anxiety, for example, if things are not carried out in the way they should be, then their anxiety may increase. Other words also used in this way include “must” or “ought to.” We’ve included several should statements examples below.
‘Should’ statements examples
Should statements can be directed toward the individual as well as to others.
Here are several should statements examples:
- “I should be able to solve this problem without help.”
- “I should not show my emotions.”
- “I should not eat candy or cakes as everyone will think X.”
- “I should always look presentable.”
- “You should be grateful for what you’ve been given.”
- “Others should keep their promises.”
- “I must follow through on all my commitments at all times.”
- “I must respond to this text message as soon as I see it.”
- “I should know better than that.”
- “You must get an A in all your classes.”
- “You ought to have better control of your feelings.”
- “I should wash the dishes before watching TV.”
- “I ought to wash my hands before eating.”
- “I should get everything on my to-do list done before I can relax.”
- “I should not answer back.”
- “I must get this done before tonight.”
- “She should behave better.”
- “Kids should be seen and not heard.”
- “I should always run errands on X day.”
- “Life shouldn’t be this hard.”
- “I should go on a diet.”
- “I should go to the gym tonight.”
- “I should meal prep even though I’m exhausted.”
Tips for reframing ‘should’ statements
There are several ways to help clients reframe or challenge should statements.
Like with any behavioral change, however, clients need to identify the should statements in their internal dialogue and take note of how these distortions are impacting their life and mental health.
You can support this process by using a thought log or record or should worksheet like the one you can download at the top of this article.
The benefit of using worksheets is that they help to identify the thought, challenge the cognitive distortions, and demonstrate ways to cognitively restructure these statements.
Here’s how to challenge should statements:
Notice the shoulds
Instruct clients to keep a thought log to record their should statements, the situation each thought is related to, and the associated feelings that arise.
Challenge the relevance or accuracy of the should statement
When the distorted thought or should statement arises, ask the client to follow the thought through. For example, what happens if they don’t do the dishes before relaxing?
Other than some anxious feelings, they may realize that nothing catastrophic will happen and that prioritizing taking a rest before doing the dishes is more important to their overall wellbeing.
Look for alternative explanations
If the client has high expectations of themselves, such as going to the gym every day, skipping a workout or missing a morning at the gym may lead to negative thought patterns.
Could there be an alternative way to look at the situation?
For instance, athletes take days off to rest, which means everybody else may benefit from rest as well.
Reframe the statement with a want or like
Have clients reframe statements with a more flexible or realistic thought. For example, “I would like to get my meal prep done this weekend, but it doesn’t have to be on Sunday.”
How to use the ‘should’ statements worksheet
This should statements PDF helps clients gain insight into their cognitive distortions and helps them change should statements into more adaptive and realistic thought patterns and behaviors.
You can go over the “should” statements worksheet in session with a client, provide it as a psychoeducational tool, or print it and share it with the client for homework to keep a record of their thoughts and how they challenged them.
The “should” statements worksheet also serves as a helpful reminder of a new coping strategy.
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