Taking responsibility for your actions worksheet

Use this taking responsibility for your actions worksheet to help clients understand the importance of taking responsibility.

This article provides an overview of the benefits of taking responsibility and suggests various strategies for clients.

We’ve included free downloadable accountability worksheets PDF to save to your electronic health record (EHR) and use in your practice.

What is taking responsibility?

Taking responsibility means acknowledging a person’s part in a situation, in both personal and professional life. Accountability is also a self-reflective practice that involves being aware that every action or decision could have a positive or negative impact. This responsibility worksheet is best suited to situations where a client’s own behavior caused harm. It may not fit situations involving abuse, where asking a client to examine their part could reinforce self-blame.

For example, a client may take responsibility for missing a deadline at work by apologizing to their boss and proposing how they will remedy the situation. A personal example may include a client owning their part in a conflict with their spouse by acknowledging that not following through on a promise affected their partner.

Accountability can also come from outside. With outcome accountability, others hold a person accountable for performance outcomes. A study of managers found that outcome accountability can reduce exploratory behavior and lead people to stick with old ways of working instead of trying new strategies.

How can clients take accountability for their actions?

Taking accountability involves a client owning their part in a situation and making amends. Simply saying “I’m sorry” may not be enough and may come across as insincere. A 2016 study found that apologies with more components, such as acknowledging responsibility and offering to repair the harm, were rated more effective, with acknowledging responsibility rated most important.

The taking responsibility for your actions worksheet walks clients through a more effective way to take ownership:

Reflecting on their actions

When someone says a client’s actions hurt them, the client may feel a natural urge to defend themselves or blame others. Encourage the client to pause and reflect on their part in the conflict or negative outcome. Prompts can include considering the other person’s perspective, imagining how they would feel if the same thing happened to them, or thinking about how a person they admire might have acted.

Acknowledging what happened

Once a client has considered their part in the conflict, they can ask the other person for time to talk. During the conversation, clients can make eye contact, use clear and direct language, and name what they are taking responsibility for, including why their actions were hurtful. Vague statements like “I am sorry you are hurting” or “I’m sorry for last week” can come across as insincere. A specific apology shows ownership, such as, “I am sorry for the way I acted. I can see how it was hurtful to ignore your message, especially when you were feeling unwell.”

Being open to providing more information

If it would help, a client can explain what happened without excusing their behavior. For example, a client might say, “I left my phone at home, but I realized you were feeling very unwell and I should have gone home to retrieve it so I could check in on you as I promised I would.” If there is no legitimate reason for the behavior, the client can say so: “I have no good reason for how I acted.” The other person may also ask why the client behaved a certain way, and the client can share further context.

Showing remorse

Clients can express regret by acknowledging how their behavior was hurtful and saying they’re sorry. Clients may feel guilt, and sharing it shows the other person that they take the situation seriously. For example, “I am so sorry for the hurt I caused. I put my needs ahead of yours, and I regret that.”

Making amends

Clients can ask the other person what they need to put the situation right. If the person is unsure, the client may offer a specific behavior change, such as returning messages within a day. If the behavior had a financial impact, the client can offer to reimburse the person or pay for damages.

Repairing the relationship

Following through on promises and corrective actions over time helps rebuild trust in the relationship.

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How do you use the taking responsibility for your actions worksheet?

You can download and use the responsibility worksheet in several ways:

• Use the worksheet to provide psychoeducation about conflict and repair.

• Complete the responsibility worksheets collaboratively in session and give the client a copy to take home.

• Ask the client to reflect on the worksheet and complete the reflection questions between sessions and report their thoughts at their next therapy appointment.

• Use the worksheet prompts in group therapy sessions to encourage clients to share how they’ve taken accountability with others in the past.

• Combine the taking responsibility for your actions worksheet with other relational worksheets, such as our 10 green flags in a relationship, conflict resolution worksheets, assertive communication examples, “I statements” worksheet, and boundaries exploration worksheet.

• Share the responsibility worksheets with coworkers or leave copies in your office.

• Use this worksheet to provide training to interns or supervisees on conflict and repair strategies.

Sources

• Downing, S. (2011). Strategies for creating success in college and in life. Wadsworth, Cengage Learning.

• Lewicki, R. J., Polin, B., & Lount, R. B., Jr. (2016). An exploration of the structure of effective apologies. Negotiation and Conflict Management Research.

• Verwaeren, B., & Nijstad, B. A. (2022). What I do or how I do it - the effect of accountability focus on individual exploration. European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology.

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