Guilt worksheets
Summary
Use divorce therapy worksheets to help couples navigate emotional distress and practical logistics like asset division and boundary setting.
Strengthen client resilience by using coping with divorce worksheets that focus on distress tolerance and assertive "I" statements.
Support children through the transition by using creative prompts and values-based conversations to facilitate healthy family adjustments.
Simplify the separation process by using divorce therapy worksheets to organize co-parenting agreements and individual grief processing.
Going through a divorce can bring up a lot of uncertainty for clients. Divorce therapy worksheets can be a helpful tool to support couples in navigating this major decision in terms of next steps, how to cope with divorce, and strategies to tell loved ones about their separation.
This article provides an overview of common challenges in separation and a list of divorce activities and support strategies for couples.
We’ve included a set of free downloadable coping with divorce worksheets to save to your electronic health record (EHR) and use in your therapy practice.
Common challenges in divorce
Deciding to get divorced is a difficult decision for any couple. It can be wrought with big emotions, hurt, and confusion.
Therapists can help individuals and couples navigate this decision. If clients cannot repair the rupture in their relationship, therapy can guide them through the mental and emotional process of separation and divorce and the practical elements they may need to consider.
Therapists should remind clients that these divorce therapy worksheets are for organizational and emotional processing only and do not constitute legal or financial counsel.
Common challenges couples face in divorce include:
Coming to terms with the reality of divorce
Handling the emotional challenges, such as depression, anxiety, grief, and loss
Deciding on custody and co-parenting agreements
Coping with the practical elements of divorce, such as separating assets and legal challenges
Processing the loss of shared identity
Coping with the social and lifestyle-related changes of divorce
Processing the impact of separation and divorce on children
Adapting to a new life post-divorce
What to address during the divorce process
Some of the decisions and activities associated with divorce include:
Separation plans
Couples need to decide who will move out of the home and organize their living arrangements, including how furniture and other belongings will be divided, and how each other's possessions will be stored and accessed.
The person staying in the home may also consider boundaries regarding physical space and privacy within the home or new living arrangements.
Set clear boundaries
Couples may find it helpful to decide how and when they would like to contact each other, make shared decisions, or establish a period of no communication outside of therapy or mediation.
Review finances
If financial resources and assets are combined, the couple may need to open separate accounts, close joint accounts and credit cards, and divert income. They may also need to make decisions about how to pay for shared expenses, how to divide assets and liabilities, and changes to retirement accounts. A mediator or divorce lawyer can assist with this process to ensure a mutually amicable arrangement.
Clients should consult a licensed attorney or certified financial advisor to ensure their specific legal and financial needs are addressed during the divorce process.
Other critical administrative tasks
This includes changing their physical address or redirecting mail, changing passwords to online accounts, and keeping a record of income and expenses should lawyers request that information for child support or alimony.
Strengthen coping skills
Divorce can be dysregulating, increasing the risk of conflicts and distress.
Therapy can help couples enhance their interpersonal communication and coping strategies during this challenging time by providing tools and worksheets that strengthen skills, such as:
Relaxation techniques, such as progressive muscle relaxation
These communication strategies are intended for collaborative divorces. In cases involving high conflict or intimate partner violence, focus instead on safety planning and parallel parenting strategies.
Helping children come to terms with divorce
Research shows that children adjust better to divorce when parents maintain cooperative, high-quality post-divorce relationships that provide ongoing emotional support and stability.
A collaborative approach may include decisions about how to inform their children, how to help them process their emotions, and provide opportunities for them to address concerns, fears, and worries. It also involves considering what the future may look like as a separated family.
Activities for helping children cope with divorce include:
Encouraging kids to draw, paint, or collage about divorce. Prompts to ask them might consist of: What does divorce look like? If you could have a wish for your future, what would it be?
Speaking to kids about divorce can open a broader conversation about endings, their understanding of marriage and divorce, sharing their worries, appreciating the values and qualities in their family, and discussing their hopes for how life may change after the divorce.
Co-parenting decisions and agreements
Parents may come to a mutual arrangement informally or engage a lawyer to draw up a formal agreement. A thorough plan typically covers custody and visitation schedules, decision-making authority for education and healthcare, communication protocols, and guidelines for transitions and holidays.
Therapists should acknowledge that ongoing contact with a former partner can surface grief, resentment, and boundary challenges even in amicable divorces. For high-conflict situations or cases involving intimate partner violence, parallel parenting may be more appropriate than a collaborative model.
Coping with grief
Individual clients may need to process their grief and loss of the marriage. They may have their own established practice, reach out to a therapist, or use grief worksheets to process their loss.
Grief worksheets and coping with divorce worksheets can help clients work through loss at their own pace.
How to use the divorce therapy worksheets
You can download and use the coping with divorce worksheets in several ways.
For instance, use it as a session prompt to explore common considerations in divorce. Give the coping with divorce worksheets to the client to remind them of what you discussed during therapy. Ask the clients to reflect on the divorce activities worksheets between sessions, either together or individually, and bring their notes to discuss at their next therapy appointment.
Combine the divorce therapy worksheets for adults with other related worksheets, such as a fair fighting rules worksheet and conflict resolution worksheets.
Remember to clarify your confidentiality policy with clients at the outset of therapy, and remain mindful that any written reflections added to the EHR may be subject to subpoena in legal proceedings.
Sources
Birch, J. (n.d.). Counseling Families to Facilitate a Healthier Divorce. National Board for Certified Counselors.
Doel, A, M. (2022). The Divorce Therapy Workbook. Between Sessions Resources.
Emerson, A. J., Harris, S. M., & Ahmed, F. A. (2021). The impact of discernment counseling on individuals who decide to divorce: experiences of post-divorce communication and coparenting. Journal of marital and family therapy.
Trussell, J. (2016). Activities for Helping Children Deal With Divorce. University of Missouri.
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